People in troubled marriages often feel lonely. They don’t have the connection they need with their partner. This unfortunately can lead to divorce. Marriages don’t do well when either one or both partners feels lonely. After all, relationships are supposed to provide a sense of secure attachment, safety and emotional support. If you are feeling lonely, you are missing out on that.
If you are feeling lonely, you will have to find a way to bring connection back into your marriage. First, what do you and your partner talk about? What do you not talk about? If you don’t share your deep feelings, why don’t you? Is it safe to share your deep feelings?
Are you lonely because you are not able to navigate through fighting successfully? Does one or both of you pull back and retreat? Or do you know how to reach out towards each other, even when in a conflict?
First, figure out exactly what is occurring that is causing the disconnection and feeling of loneliness. After you understand that, you might try discussion what you have become aware of with your partner. Perhaps your partner feels the same way?
Sure, anyone can feel lonely at times. But our partners are our safe harbors to go to when we feel lonely or sad about something. Our partners can be the antidote to loneliness.
I recently met a young woman who had felt lonely in her relationship for years. She was in the middle of a divorce. (This couple has young children.) The interesting thing is that this woman respected and looked up to her husband. And she didn’t know why they didn’t talk. She hadn’t tried to talk to him about what had happened to them. She and her soon to be ex have a lot to figure out so they can move on with more understanding and better skills. And change how they interact in front of their children – who are sponges soaking up their ways of interaction.
WeConcile gets you learning and talking about what you are learning. It also gets you talking about your deep feelings (safely). There is no reason to be lonely in your relationship. You can get the tools and help you need.
Rebuilding a relationship is a worthwhile journey. We hope you choose to rebuild yours.
If you feel lonely in your marriage, try reading this article: