Should I read a relationship book, find an online relationship program or go to couples therapy?

There are a lot of great relationship books out there. The question is, will you read them? Will you and your partner be motivated to implement the suggestions?

If not, a book, while educational and enlightening may not be structured enough for you. That is because knowledge is one thing, but changing habits is yet another. We have to practice and practice to change habits. To do that, we need ongoing support, not a book we read once and then put away.

There are a lot of good (and not so good) couples therapists out there. I recommend finding an EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples) therapist if you choose therapy because the training, they receive is excellent.

There are other modalities such as The Gottman’s Method and Stan Tatkin that are also very good. Stan Tatkin is the developer of PACT—A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. PACT is an integration of neuroscience, arousal regulation, and attachment theory.

The biggest disadvantage to couples therapy is cost. But having an impartial trained third party can be great. If you can afford couples therapy and are willing to be in therapy, go for it.


Online relationship programs are a newer invention. There are a number of them available. Instead of talking to a therapist, you do your learning via the materials provided. Most are not extensive and not systemized to follow the steps of a specific and statistically successful couples modality. They don’t walk you through the learning goals in step by step way. Many consist of audio recordings and workbooks. Some consist of articles or e-books.

Some companies advertising online marriage counseling are providing the same service as seeing a counselor in their office, except you are doing the session by phone or video.

WeConcile on the other hand provides systemized learning. You are taught the skills you need in a step by step way. These are the same skills you would be learning if you were seeing a highly qualified couples counselor. WeConcile has incorporated a number of successful couples therapy modalities into its program.

Due to the complexity of developing a systemized way of teaching couples, creating WeConcile has taken years of training, experience and research.

You can read more about how WeConcile works here.

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