When I take the time to look back on how we have changed – it is incredible to see where we were and where we are. We loved each other before – but we have evolved into a couple in a much more satisfying way.
It has become easier to have conversations that previously would have been avoided or would have led to confrontations. We are feeling more free to talk about things more openly and honestly (and for me, I have identified a new level of honesty…have started to experience things outside of just my “head.”) We share things less defensively and are more receptive to hearing (I mean REALLY hearing) the other person’s experiences, points of view, or experiences. Rather than focusing on being right, we are willing to reach across the facts and connect on the non-logical.
Truly we are feeling more confident and more competent in the relationship. It is feeling more textured and more complete to me. We still are not always perfectly aligned on all aspects – but we no longer seem to struggle to find a way to discuss it nor does the difference lead to a fight. We are able to TALK without having it lead to conflict or hard feelings. In fact, we are starting to laugh about or not take personally how we each approach decisions, behave, or interact. Rather than taking offense or assuming that something is a personal affront purposely being lobbed at the other, we are able to ask questions, share perspectives, and not jump to conclusions.
Of all of the levels we have received, this one (14) was the one that really felt like we were taking a HUGE step forward. It felt as if the others were evolutionary, and this one was more revolutionary. As if instead of just stepping up the skills, we bounced up. What I think was the most meaningful for me (and possibly for both of us) was the prescriptiveness of the steps.